Wednesday, March 21, 2007

ToeCutter on Propositioning to a woman...

I see a recurring theme in guys that I teach and interact with.
They want to proposition a woman in one way or another. They feel
that is honest.

For example, a guy came to me the other day telling me: "I just
fell over and told my long term crush that I am in love with her.
How do I handle it from here?" ... and I groaned internally. He
largely ruined his chances with her and now will be battling to get
it back. With some probing, he told me that it just feels more
honest to let her know. That playing games and acting as if he did
not did not seem right to him. And at least he has gotten it off
his chest now.
This may sound familiar to you. This may be why you want to
approach women directly, and tell them as the first thing that
comes out of your mouth. "Hi, I really like you, and thought I
would introduce myself ..." I understand why it is appealing, but
it is not the best way forward. It is not socially adept. There is
too much room for her to say "I am not interested", and everyone in
the room will see you as a beggar.

Some people have an orientation where they just want to tell the
girl up front they like them. This might be a problem for you
especially if you see yourself as extremely romantic and
sentimental. The sort of play-acting where you and her both pretend
you are not all that att racted to one another (which is absolutely
required by our courtship system) represents something repulsive to
you. You want to find someone who will accept and love you as you
are. In short, you don't want to beat around the bush. Dating and
courtship hold no special allure for you.

Well what I am here to tell you is that you need to embrace the
game. And you need to do it in a way where you are building your
skills towards where you would like to have them when you have
achieved your goals.

For me here is the goal: to be a viable relationship proposition to
every girl you meet. It means you build skills and your life in a
different direction to the one where you walk up and proposition
girls. It means you build a social network, and are very good
socially, and she can see that she would slot straight into that
spot in your life, and would be very happy. You can demonstrate
this in many ways on the initial night. Dealing with her tests and
games, being good socially, having a lot going on in your life are
part of that. And with that in mind, you need to preserve your
respect within social interactions.

Girls like sex as much as men. But there are a lot of social
factors constraining her decision to go to bed with someone. There
is what the society will say about her, there is the risk of rape,
violence, disease. There is the risk of the guy falling in love and
becoming a stalker. There is the risk of her falling in love and a
fear of abandonment. But they can control their own emotions, but
not those of other people. They have a minimum standard that has to
be met to sleep with a guy when she is without sex in her life.
That is that it will not get weird or anything. That he will not
fall in love and tell her he loves her. That it will not be awkward
when he sees her again. That he will not brag to all his friends.
Or tell his friends about any sexual disfunction. And that she will
not regret it. It has to be comfortable for her.

So that is, to me, bottom level game. Like the minimum required.
And I know that some guys will walk up to 100 girls and say some
variation of a proposition to see where it gets him. He is shooting
at nothing more than that bottom level game. And the strategy is
not a successful one. In the social psychology literature, Clark
and Hatfield (1989; see PIP p.37) did a study where att ractive
strangers walked up offering to have sex with students. None of the
female students accepted but 75% of the males did. If this was not
working for extremely att ractive model quality men on campuses,
then why would it work for you? Some men believe in it though, even
though it burns their social capital and is only shooting at bottom
level game.

Then as you come up in your skill development at flirting, she will
still sleep with you because you are not going to get weird on her
and tell her you love her on the second night or anything, but now
she likes you on a deeper level also.

The ultimate, at the top, is where you can keep any girl you ever
interact with. All of them want to move into your house and for you
to have them as your woman. You are a dream that is not realistic
for most of the girls you speak to. But they will definitely still
sleep with you. You have a line up of girls behind you, not just
because you are some sort of sexual presence that will not get
weird, but because girls genuinely love you.

Now what I am saying is that you need to shoot, in your skill set,
for that top level. Being able to keep the girls you interact with.

Any method you would want to perfect should be useful for more than
just anonymous environments. You should be using anonymous
environments to perfect techniques that are good in everyday life
social situations once you have greater access.

So what is the right way forward? The same way that would work if
you are at a work function or your cousins housewarming party with
a female friend of his, or anywhere else. You get into non-sexual
conversation, and you flirt. Flirting is playfulness. She kind of
likes you but does not know if she will be accepted, and you like
her and do not know if you will be accepted, so you take playful
risks in your conversation, your touch, your eye gestures. And you
slowly allow the sexual dynamic to unfold.

Then she is in a position to judge you and what it is like hanging
out with you. Then she has given you reasons to be att racted to
her beyond her looks, and you have given her reasons to be att
racted to you beyond yours.

A confession of love should never be done unless it is within the
confines of a relationship, and an expression of romantic interest
should not happen until you know her well enough that you have a
reason to be att racted to her (and you can get to know someone
well enough for that in 5 minutes).
So rid your mind of your need to confess your love. Embrace the
game. And get out there and interact with real women. You will find
it enjoyable, I promise.

http://www.FlirtAdvice.com

Thursday, March 02, 2006

think and grow rich - 12 things that constitute real riches

In order of importance :

1. positive mental attitude
2. sound physical health
3. harmony in human relations
4. freedom from fear
5. a hope of future achivement
6. the capacity for applied things
7. willingness to share ones blessings with others
8. to be engaged in the labor of love
9. an open mind on all subjects toward all people
10. complete self discipline
11. wisdom with which to understand people
12. financial security

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Neil Strauss dans la presse!

http://www.cyberpresse.ca/article/20060204/CPACTUEL/602040518

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Another great post by TD on phone game

I get a phone call from an ex-girlfriend that I'm still close
with. We still hook-up, but I value her more as someone who I
can talk to now. I think that may change when I stop travelling
and I'm around more. For some reason, she's an anomaly who is
very self aware of her tendencies. That is, as opposed to most
girls I meet, who only offer useless socially conditioned
rhetoric, whenever you ask them about male/female interaction.

Over the course of the conversation, the topic of dating comes
up. I ask, "What does it mean when you meet up with a guy,
have a great time, maybe even kiss, but then when he calls you
don't go out with him? Like you make up excuses and don't
return his calls."

She replies, "Well there's this guy, Chris, who I met the
other night. I really liked him. I offered him my number. He
called me the other night, and asked me to meet up. I told him
'You know what, I think I actually will. Let me call you back.'
I really wanted to meet up. For some reason I never did though.

"The thing is, that I can feel the emotion that I felt when I
gave him my number, at the time that we're talking on the
phone. But the second we hang up, poof, it's gone. Also, I
actually have scheduling issues. It's not like this is someone
who I'm already friends with, who I'd give priority to. This is
some new person that I barely know.

"If he happens to catch me at the right time, I'd go out with
him. But I won't take the time or go out of my way to return
his calls. I don't call guys."

I reply, "So theoretically, you're sufficiently attracted to
this guy that under different circumstances you could have
wound up sleeping with him. Or even gotten into a five year
relationship, for all you know. But just because of ill luck in
timing and because he actually believed that you'd call him
back, now you'll never see him again.

"Is this weird to you at all?"

She replies, "Nope. It makes perfect sense. I don't care either
way, because I have guys available to me at all times so it's
my last priority. That guy was cool and I thought he was cute,
and maybe I'll see him again later or something. I also just
give out my number to be social most of the time. It doesn't
mean I have any intentions at all."

I reply, "He could use that opportunity to continue the
interaction to generate attraction down the line, no?"

She replies, "It's happened before. Really I just don't want to
meet new guys. I like being social when I'm out. But if I'm
attracted to a guy, I'll probably flake on him. I've already
slept with enough guys (she's nineteen years old, and has been
with five guys), I don't want to sleep with anymore right now.

"When I was with my two friends hanging out at these guys' house,
we made each other promise not to let each other do anything
because the guys were cute."

I reply, "OK that makes sense. What if he's really good
looking? Does that make a difference? Also, do you think that
when he calls it's better for him to chat you for a while, so
you can be reminded of why you gave him your number in the
first place? Or should he just call and immediately try to make
plans? Also, do you think it's better to call you out on your
bullshit in a funny way if you flake?"

She answers, "Looks means nothing when it comes to that stuff.
I know within seconds if I could or couldn't sleep with a guy.
I knew within seconds that we'd have sex, the night that we
met."

I reply, "Are you serious? I don't think that my looks are on a
level that you'd want to sleep with me the second you saw me."

She replies, "True. But it's in your energy. The way you come
across. I can't explain it. As long as you're not morbidly
disfigured your looks won't be the main thing I judge on. Girls
all say they want looks, but they wind up with guys who aren't
hot all the time. There's so many guys that I think are so hot,
and I sit there waiting for them to talk and I'm all excited,
and they're like "hi" with some stupid line, and they sound
retarded and act weird. It's such a letdown, and most hot guys
are like that."

I reply, "Do you think the 25 point list I showed you has to do
with that kind of stuff?"

She replies, "Yes, definitely. Also stuff that you don't have
in there, like just your voice and facial expressions."

I reply, "OK, what about the other stuff with calling girls out
on bratty behaviour? Like confronting her for flaking?"

She replies, "Well if a guy tries to argue with me, I'll just
hang up on him. He would have to do it in a totally funny way
that doesn't make me upset or annoyed."

I reply, "Last night, I call up this flaky girl, and say 'You're
so annoying to get a hold of! It's so cute though, you're so
confused and disorganized. It's like you're my bratty little
sister. I don't even think I'm attracted to you anymore, I just
want to take care of you and help you get organized like a big
brother.'... Then she started giggling and said 'No no no..
I'll meet up with you, don't think of me like that!'.. Do you
think that was a good approach?"

She replies, "Yeah definitely. That was funny and if you did
that to me, I'd be like "Oh yeah, well maybe I WILL meet up
with you then!"

I reply, "OK awesome. So do you think it's good to talk for
like 15 minutes to remind her of what she gave you her number
for in the first place, and then go for a meet?"

She replies, "Probably longer than that actually. I'm not sure.
For you maybe less time because you do this stuff. But most
guys have no chance unless they're lucky because I'm either
bored or looking for something at that point in time. I guess
their best bet is to try to talk to me as much as possible, so
I become friends with them."


-----

A few thoughts on this.

First, guys will attribute flaking to a lack of attraction. I
disagree with this line of thinking. Girls go into state, and
forget about it down the line. In fact, most of what occurs
while a girl's buying temperature is escalated will be
forgotten by the girl. They become disassociative and
cognitive dissonance kicks in.

Have you ever noticed that whatever drama happens the night
you meet a girl will be forgotten if you wind up dating? It's
because nothing that happens while she's in state counts to
her. That's also why we don't bother worrying about whether or
not a girl has a boyfriend. She becomes disassociative when
she's attracted, so it's not relevant to the interaction.

That being the case, there are a few tendencies that guys in
the scene have, that I think are wrong-headed:

1- Calling a girl on her bullshit for flaking in a way that
isn't cute or fun, or in a way that sounds angry or like you
actually care. In my experience, the only girls who respond to
that are the types who respond to this sort of behaviour in
general, which is a certain type of girl that is not the
majority.

2- Putting the girl in a position where she has to call you
back or its over.

3- Refusing to follow up with girls who don't make it easy to
meet up with them again by, and thinking that you're somehow
'NEXTing' them.

4- Thinking that all value is strictly conveyed in person, and
that it is a bad idea to talk for a long time on the phone
because it makes you look needy. Not that you *need* to call
long. But rather, call as long as you feel like. Calibrate so
as to hang up before she gets bored, but enjoy the interaction
as long as you want. It's just that much more comfort
building, and is only taking you that much closer to the
endzone.

5- Giving up if the girl stands you up, because you think she
isn't attracted.


For me, there are a few things that I'll do when it comes to
the phone. First, if a girl flakes me, I'll tease her on it in
a funny way. I never get angry or look genuinely upset about
it. I never focus on reasoning with them logically.

I also don't give up if a girl doesn't call back. At the same
time, if they say they'll call back I'll say I don't get upset
like I know they won't. I'll just say "OK cool." and give them
the chance. But then if they don't call back when they said
they would, I'll call back a bit later and just re-initiate
the conversation as if I don't even remember that they didn't
follow up.

Now when it comes to the idea that "if a girl disrespects me
I'll NEXT her", that isn't my frame at all. To me, you can't
NEXT a girl who you haven't slept with. In my view, that's
just her NEXT'ing you. It's only a girl that I'm already with
that I'll do this to if she annoys me or crosses my boundaries.

For a girl I haven't slept with yet though, I have a certain
beliefs. She owes me nothing. It's all a game. No relationship
or connection exists between us until we've been together
physically, because she reserves the right to walk away at any
point. I have no emotional ties to the interaction, and I have
no ego about it. I just do what I think will work.

I also believe that there is a fundamental problem with many of
the social ideas about how often and when to call. For example,
there exists an idea in society that waiting to call will
create scarcity and value, as well as increase anticipation.

To me this is very wrong thinking. Notice that it stems from
the fact that 99% of pickups in society are SOCIAL CIRCLE
pickups. So for that kind of phone number, you'd have probably
had the tension building for weeks or months before the number
was exchanged. Of course waiting is better - it's been building
for months. But for girls you met on a cold approach, that is
not the case.

I know what world the girls live in. They live in the same
world that I do. The world where you meet tons of girls (in
their case its guys), and tons of them like you and tons of
them validate you. When I get home from a club, I literally
cannot remember the names or faces of girls I met.

To be more accurate, I literally barely remember the names or
faces of the last three girls I had sex with. I just got off
the phone with a girl that I was with less than twelve hours
ago, and Jeffy and I had to think for five minutes about what
her name was before I returned her call.

And I LIKED that girl.

I remember she was a hot brunette around my height, and seemed
cool. But that's about it.

For girls, it's the same. They can barely remember anyone they
meet, because they meet so many people. To make matters even
worse, they become disassociative while they're in the club.
Many of them have even had had a few drinks, but you couldn't
tell.

Of course, you can do daytime pickup. But regardless, the
girls still have access to many other good looking alpha guys
the second they want it.

Most guys don't even realize that it is very rare that an
attractive girl is not getting laid by one or more other guys.
That's even when they're single. They're still sleeping with
their ex-boyfriends, or some player on the side.

It's not like a hot girl is NOT getting laid, anymore than you
wouldn't be if you had the instant option. So when you're
calling, they are about as motivated to meet up with you as you
would be to drive across town to a good Italian restaurant,
when you're eating a good bowl of Chinese right in front of you.

Sure, the Italian would be great. But you have an unlimited
Chinese buffet sitting right here. Why would you be bothered?

The girls don't get that needy feeling that the guys get. They
are always validated, because they've been in the club at least
twice a week, getting validated by all the guys complimenting
them and buying them drinks.

When it comes to how I handle the phone, I don't worry that if
I call back multiple times it will make me look bad. Because I
have high social value, and don't subcommunicate any neediness,
I can call as much as I want.

In fact, I'll call two or three times in a row if she's not
picking up, back to back. I'll call back whenever I feel like
it, because it's obvious that I'm amusing myself and that I
don't really care. I could take it or leave it, and I'm just
having fun.

I'll call and shoot the shit, and then hassle her until she
meets up. Whatever.

I also combat excuses by adding in phone freezeouts, and
following them with playful teasing and some semi-logical
stuff like "Hey, come chill for a few minutes. If you're bored,
take off and we'll catch up later."

My goal is to have the girl on the phone ASAP. I don't want
them to have any time to forget that we have plans to meet up.
I'll call girls' cellphones even as I'm leaving the club and
going for afterbar food. I'll have pulled a girl from the club
to an afterhours food place, and run off to the bathroom to
call all my numbers, while my wing occupies our set (I have a
habit of pulling a two set with my wing for same night, and
take numbers from the choice girls in larger sets).

Whether I reach them or not, I'll call them again as soon as I
wake up the next afternoon, and get the ball rolling. I'm not
thinking to make them wonder if I'll call or not, because I
know they could care less. Not because they aren't attracted.
Rather, because there are many attractive prospects on their
plates, and regardless of my game, I'm one of many.

The difference between me and them though, is that I'll get her
and they won't, because I'll play it properly.

If a girl stands me up, I'll call her and make fun of her for
it. I'll hassle her to meet up. I'll say I'm still there and
she had better get her ass down there, because she's my little
sister and if she doesn't get down here I don't know what
trouble she'll get into if she doesn't have me there to
supervise her.

I don't care either if she wants her friends to come or not.
All of this means nothing to me. I just want to see her again,
because I'll get her no matter what she throws at me.

The difference between a day1 and a day2 is that she's there to
see *me*. So she has no excuse not to come back somewhere
private if we're spending time together. And from there I can
escalate.

So let's summarize.

In my experience, I've found it best to get away from the idea
that you're trying to make the girl fall in love with you
before you hook up with her.

Focus on just showing you're a cool guy who she has the
potential to be attracted to, and then make it your only
priority to see her again. Don't worry about your value over
the phone. You can't wreck a pickup from over a phone line.
That makes no sense.

If you're the kind of guy who she's attracted to, then just
act congruent to that over the phone. Call her and get her
accustomed and accepting that you're in her life now. Make
plans, and if she is flaky don't worry about it, and be
playfully persistent by chatting her more, not by talking
non-stop about the flaking. Meet, have fun, connect, isolate,
and from there its up to you.. :)

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

how to implement a habit

interesting post by TD


I noticed a pattern recently about how I implement habits.

Here is how I implement a habit.

Usually I'll get some idea of some over the top thing that I want to accomplish.

So maybe I weigh 120 pounds and I want to make the college football team. Or maybe I've had failing grades all through high school and I want to get in to the best college. Or maybe I can't get a girlfriend and I decide to be a PUA. I have tons of these.

First I will get an idea of what I'm trying to accomplish and what will be involved.

I have the general principle that while I'm not that smart, I know that most other people aren't that smart either. Or rather, its not that people aren't that smart, but just that most people walk through life in a trance and generally don't break out of their habits. They just listen to what other people tell them and aren't willing to look at the finer details of things, so it is easy to get to the top of any field if you are willing to do that. Everyone thinks that there are all these conspiracies and super ways that people do things, but usually the top guys are just as disorganized as the average dudes on the street. It's like kids at top colleges who pay six figures to attend school. You'd think that they'd show up to class, but they don't show up any more than the kids in cheaper schools. Human habit is human habit. I figure that there is pretty much no limit of what level I can reach so long as I have an idea of what the top level looks like. In fact, I assume that I can surpass it before I even start.

From there, I decide what I'll have to do to get to that point. I figure how long it will take, and the habit that I'll have to integrate on a DAY TO DAY.

This is what I consider PROACTIVE and LOGICAL reasoning. I don't wait until some girl dumps me to start going out when I'm emotionally compelled, and then stop going out when I feel better about myself. That is REACTIVE.

Instead, I figure to myself, "Alright, I have to go out 3-7 nights a week for around three years. Fine."

At that point I FULLY ACCEPT that this is what I will be doing. I also am unlikely to change my plans, as I tend to think that if I can't trust myself to stick to one area then I can't trust myself to stick to my next area, so there if I'm going to be like that then there's no point in even starting anything.

The big thing for me, is that I will get out there whether the conditions are ideal or not. So if I'm not dressed properly, I will still get out there. If I'm not feeling well, I'll just go out for a bit and come home to keep the habit. I do the same thing in the gym if I have not slept properly or if I am busy or sick. If I know that I'm too tired to get a good workout I'll still show up and push through it. If I'm too busy then I'll just rush through it and won't worry about eating before or after. And if I'm sick then I'll at least show up to the gym and stretch.

I don't think about these things. I just accept them.

Now the big thing when you start something new is that progress is going to be non-existent at first and will go up in a j-curve if you can make it through the initial pain. Most people quit because starting something is REALLY hard and usually feels directionless for a long time. The guys who make it through that initial part will eventually get to a level where progress is really fast and noticeable, and for them it will become a hobby and fun. But at first it is purely banging your head against the wall to make the most minuscule advancements. Not fun.

So in an area like pickup, if you are starting off as a total dork like I was then it is pretty much going to be zero progress for a few months. You will go out and people will be really unresponsive and hard on you. It won't change for a long time either, because the more you're getting rejected the more you're feeling shitty. The only plus side is that you're learning that you won't die, which is actually pretty important.

When you start anything, whether sports or dance or music, it will probably be pretty embaressing and painful. You'll be around people who have it all figured out, and their neural connections will be fine tuned from what seems like infinite repetition. You'll see this, and it will just give you a headache. Literally, for me, I see this kind of thing and I feel nauseous because it is so intimidating.

The way I get through it is literally BLIND FAITH. I will figure out what the basic training is and do it OVER AN OVER, regardless of whether or not I get a result.

A big part of this is that I have NO OUTCOME for a very long time. My only outcome is to get my ass out of the house and to wherever I'm supposed to be. My criteria for success isn't how well I did. It's IF I SHOWED UP and did what I was supposed to do. My expectations of myself are very low.

I read posts on here about guys in the field for six months and frustrated that they aren't getting results, and I really don't relate to why they're finding this to be unusual. When I took my first workshop I was getting laid, but I had a major social fear of clubs and my goal was to learn how to game girls in that environment. It took me a few months to get my first club makeout but I never thought anything of it. It wouldn't have occurred to me to be one of these guys who comes on a month later and says "I still haven't gotten laid." I was told that it would take me six months to get "passably not lame," and I took that at face value. There was no way after I spent all that time and money that I wasn't going to go out and do what the guy told me to do. That would have devalidated the whole thing. To be honest, although I learned a lot on the program, I couldn't remember shit afterwards because the whole thing was shocking like a whirlwind. The big thing I took from it was INSPIRATION and CONFIRMATION THAT IT WAS POSSIBLE. That was ALL I needed to get good.

First I learned how to open in a club environment. OK, got that. Then how to hook attention for thirty seconds. Ok, got that. Then how to tell stories. OK, got that. Then how to tease and create sexual tension. OK, got that. Then how to get a number. OK, got that. Then I realized they all flaked. OK, scrap everything, back to the drawing board. Then how to deliver it better. OK, got better reactions. Then how to slow it the fuck down to get the same reactions without being a dancing monkey. OK, got that. Each of these took weeks or months at a time.

The process went on for years, but now I have the exact result that I want.

Guys say to me "Wow, you had such dedication" and I can't relate to that. To me, that's like telling a kid who goes to play basketball after school for a few years that he has dedication. It wasn't dedication. It was a routine. A habit. A hobby. I made the time for it in my life, and I never worried about how well I was doing. I assumed with blind faith that everything would take care of itself if I just kept going out and meeting people to get advice on how I was doing.

Jlaix and I were talking, and he was like "Dude, my skills are in like the stratosphere lately. It's getting so good it's scary." I was like "Think about it. Remember back in the day when we were dorks, and we were like 'all we have to do is go out for six months and we'll be decent'? Six months seemed like forever back then, but now six months breezes by like its nothing, and every time that happens our skills are going up at the same rate that they were back in the day. The improvement keeps compiling and that's why these results are showing up."

If you think back to the last six months or a year, it seems like nothing. That time passes so fast. You get older and decades start to fly by.

When you implement a habit, you're thinking about the outcome and how hard the training is. So you go through the one night and because its one of your first nights you remember every detail and it seems like a lifetime. And then you think "Six more months of THIS? Or a YEAR?!"

But that's the wrong thinking. If you're thinking like that there is no way you'll get anywhere. The point is to just keep going out and not try to get results. Just go out and do your exercises and it will come naturally. Don't think of it as "Six more months." Think "This is what I'm doing now. My day consists of this now. This is my lifestyle."

To me, it comes down to this: 1-Get an idea of what you want. 2-Formulate a plan of how often you need to show up to get there. 3-Accept that your new activity is a part of your life for the duration of the time you've decided, and never decide based on emotions if you're going to show up or not. Just show up. 4-Don't worry if you're getting results, just stick to the plan with blind faith, and make your criteria for success just to show up. 5-Make it a hobby, look at the details critically without taking advice dogmatically, and take the initiative to shift the focus of your training when your intuition tells you that it might help.

Don't focus on chasing outcome. Focus on sticking to habits. Make your criteria for success if you stuck to the habit.

Anyway, hopefully that was helpful to some people.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Kick-ass post on inner-game

My Story

If you don’t care about my story, then skip this section.

I discovered mASF when I was 19. I’m 22 now. So it’s been a little over three years for me. At the time, I was a virgin and had never even kissed a girl. I didn’t makeout with my first girl until I was a sophomore in college.

Make a long story short, I lost my virginity at age 20 and it was a HUGE weight that was lifted off of my shoulder.

When I first discovered ASF, I really had no concept of how clueless I actually was when it comes to women. I always considered myself to have a good personality and that I was fun to be around. I’m sure lots of people see themselves this way.

The reality though is that my personality was not very good. Take a look around your reality right now. Got a lot of friends? Got any women in your life? If not, then either your personality isn’t where it should be or you don’t actively try and network well enough.

I was always a negative person, a pessimist. Some of these people consider themselves “realists” but it doesn’t really matter what you call it, because the reality is that if you want to be successful in life and with women, you need to surpress all the urges that you have to be negative or complain about anything. It’s just a fucking downer. Nobody likes being around people like that. If you are one of these people, keep reading.

Ever since I was young, I always thought that I should have been better with women. My personality was a bit above average and my looks are average, yet for some reason I saw guys getting women that I considered less deserving than I was.

What I never realized about myself was that I was a geek. I was just a much cooler geek than most geeks. I used to love to play video games and play with THINGS. I still do these things occassionally, but to be totally honest, they now bore me. The reason is that they are nowhere near as fun as interacting with new people. If you are one of these people, you need to shift your interest from THINGS to PEOPLE.

When you get good with women and people in general, conversations become lots of fun. It can be a real adrenaline rush that cannot be rivaled by any video game.

After I lost my virginity, I went through periods of loving ASF and then convincing myself that ASF was all bullshit. If you are a beginner, resist this temptation. The theories on this website are VERY real. What is making it not work is your EXECUTION of them, NOT the ideas.

The rest of my story is largely unwritten. After losing my virginity, I continued to have sporadic successes with women, but I never wanted to lower my standards because I thought that I deserved better women. If I had lowered my standards years ago, I would have gotten much better much quicker, and I’ll explain why later in this post.

I was hooking up with a few girls a year when I was twenty and twenty one. Certainly nothing to brag about.

When I hit 22, I successfully hooked up with more girls in a year (and still going by the way) then I had for the rest of my entire life. In the last month and a half, I have been with 9 new girls or so. All of a sudden everything has gotten ridiculously easy for me.

Let me explain how I got there and how you can get there as quickly as possible while avoiding all the mistakes that costed me lots of time and frustration.

WARNING!

This process will NOT be easy for most of you! It took me a few years to transform myself from a very large loser into a massive stud. Where it all begins is inner game. Without it, you are GARBAGE at PU, I don’t care what anybody says.


STEP #1

Figure out who you are. And no, I don’t mean thinking abstractly about who you are. Take a look at your life and ask yourself if you are where you want to be, but more importantly if you are GETTING where you want to be (i.e. are you having a string of successes that are slowly leading you to where you ideally want to be?).

Figure out what kind of person you are. Are you a geek? Be honest with yourself. Get feedback from the people in your life. Find out WHY people are friends with you. If they are friends with you, there must be some value that you provide to them.

Be willing to accept the fact that you might only be their friend because they are DESPERATE for friends. It’s a reality that you need to be aware of.

Once you have roughly figured out who you are and what value you provide to people, you are ready for step #2.

STEP #2

Figure out what kind of value you WANT to provide to people (and also what kind of value you NEED to provide to some people). This isn’t as difficult as it sounds. All you need to PU some girls is to have a high SEXUAL value to her. You need to be a man that turns her on and leads her to a place where the two of you can have sex.

Of course not all girls are like this. Some require more than just a high sexual value.

Think about what kind of value you would need to provide to guys to make them want to be your friend.

Some examples:

If you want to be friends with a depressed person (you shouldn’t want this btw), then the value you need to provide to them is to be non-judgemental and understanding. You need to listen to their problems. Being able to cheer them up would help too.

If you want to be friends with AFC’s, then you could provide social value and opportunities for them to get laid. You could invite them to parties that you host and invite them to your female friends.

If you want to be friends with HIGH VALUE people like PUA’s and quality women, then you typically need to be high value enough yourself that they can respect you. If you find a nice PUA who likes your attitude and doesn’t mind having an apprentice, then you might get lucky and get to hang out with him.

The bottom line is that you need to figure out what type of value that you need to provide for people, and then actively work on developing that part of your personality until you are a person that naturally radiates those qualities.

Read that last sentence again.

How to accomplish this is what the rest of this post is all about.


THE GOLDEN RULE: THERE ARE NO PROBLEMS, ONLY OPPORTUNITIES! (explanation below)


RULE #1

NO NEGATIVITY, EVER AGAIN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

Negativity has a way of poisoning the way you THINK. It’s roots travel directly into your brain. If you think ANYTHING negative throughout the course of the day, then you are not yet where you need to be to be a successful PUA.

Most people do not think that they are negative people. It has become such a large part of who they are that they literally don’t even NOTICE that they are being negative.

Here is how I want you to eliminate negativity in your life:

Carry a small notepad around with you everywhere you go. Anytime you have ANY type of negative thought, write it down.

THEN, think of a way that you can mentally re-frame this thought into a positive or atleast a neutral thought.

Some examples of little annoyances that can piss people off and fuck your state up:

Problem: You drive up to the gas station, get out of the car, try and pump your gas and realize that the pump isn’t working.

Solution: Resist all temptation to get aggravated and drive up to the next pump.

Problem: The cashier at the supermarket is slow as hell and is taking forever.
Solution: Go in someone else’s line or just suck it up. DON’T start thinking negatively. Think about something else, start chatting to the person next to you, or do something to take your mind off of it.

And there are tons of other examples. But my point is that you don’t need to be unrealistic on HOW you reframe problems. You don’t even HAVE to reframe them into something positive. Notice in the above examples, I didn’t reframe anything, I just simply avoided the problem, because it is something that is MENIAL….and therefore, NOT WORTH MY EFFORT to get pissed off about.


RULE #2

AVOID NEGATIVE LANGUAGE

Language is a very powerful thing. Notice how I talked about “problems” in the last section. That is an example of negative language. The very existence of the word suggests that something is wrong with the situation.

Avoid using language like this. Every problem in life is actually an OPPORTUNITY in disguise.

There are many subsets of this, but consider it from the mind of an entrepreneur. He goes to a bathroom and is disgusted at all the piss all over the seat. Now most people would just get pissed off about it and then that would be the last that they think about it.

But he views problems as opportunities, so he decides that he will invent a toilet seat that cleans itself off every time after the toilet seat flushes.

See the difference in thinking?

One guy gets pissed off about a situation, and the other guy views it as an opportunity to challenge himself and to make money.

There are countless examples like this. I try to explain this to so many people, and there is always some bullshit example of why they don’t want to buy into it. Don’t be one of these people. Winners don’t get pissed off about menial shit.

Winners capitalize on EVERYTHING that happens in life. EVERYTHING is an opportunity.

Thinking in this manner automatically reframes any potential problems into opportunities.

Another example related to PU:

A woman shit-tests you by saying something like “You’re too short for me” or some stupid bullshit. I swear I am invisible to these types of statements nowadays. Shit tests are literally not a problem for me anymore.

Some guys are puzzled by how to respond to this. A LOSER would say that this is a problem – he is too short for her, it is over…NEXT. Wrong way to think about it buddy.

A WINNER would think “this is an opportunity to knock her socks off” and would say “How tall are you? You’re 5’7? Yeah, your WAYYYYY too tall for me, things would clearly never work out between us.” And then he would create some purely fabricated bullshit right on the spot about why it would never work out, and GO IN DETAIL ABOUT IT….something like “I don’t date women that are over 5’6, because the only way we can dance eye to eye is on stairs. And I am sick of dancing on stairs because my legs really hurt a lot.”

That isn’t even that funny, and I just came up with it now. But a woman would find it hilarious. Why? Because she is impressed that you are not FUMBLED by her testing you. You act like you could care less what she thinks about you, and then you even go so far as saying that she doesn’t fit YOUR qualifications! How many guys do you think regularly do this to her? Not many.

Learning how to properly deal with shit-tests is remarkably easy once you get it.

One more example from last night:

I was hanging out with some friends and my female friend said to this guy that I barely knew

“Where have you been? We’ve been looking all over for you?”

The guy got all defensive and looked like an idiot in front of like 10 people. He even blamed her for them not being able to find him. This is BAD BAD BAD…don’t do it.

If she said that to me I would have said to her

“You know what dear? To be totally honest, I was just sick and tired of you chasing me around like a puppy dog and spanking my ass in front of all these people. I mean we hardly even KNOW these people and you’re parading my ass around like it is some kind of trophy”

I just came up with that now as I typed it. But that is super $. It is also completely fabricated. NONE of those things happened, and she KNOWS this, but look between the lines, do you see how I turned a problem into an opportunity to enhance her attraction level for me?

Remember guys, there are NO problems…only opportunities!


RULE #3

THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN….LIKE, A REAL LOT OF FUN!

Juggler once said something great. He said, assume that sex is a given with a woman. Now how would you want your interaction with her to be? He said that he would want it to be fun, exciting, etc.

If you asked that question to other people, do you think ANYBODY would say to you:

“I would want to debate about conspiracy theories, religion, or politics” (read: NEVER talk about any of these things)

“I would want to listen to someone complain about their job, friends, or relationship”

“I would want to talk about boring, uninteresting things like the weather.”

Nope.

So make a promise to yourself that you will stop taking things so seriously with women. This should be fun guys, not nerve wracking. Women are ENTERTAINMENT. Some might consider that harsh, but it is a great re-frame that will have you less concerned with the results.

If you discovered ASF and have no friends and are looking for women to fill that void in your life, you will be VERY sorry, my friend! I made this mistake and as a result I cared way too much about things like stupid girls flaking on me.

Now, if they flake on me, I have many other activities that I can do. Which takes me to the next rule….

Rule #4

HAVE A LARGE SUPPORT GROUP

And by this, I don’t mean have a lot of people that listen to your problems or tell you that you’re doing well or whatever. I simply mean, have a lot of friends that you can hang out with to get your mind off women.

This solves so many problems at one time, yet it eludes some guys way of thinking. But the more friends you have, the more opportunities you have to go out and have a good time. And the more opportunities you have to go out, the more chances you have to meet women.

You should have many different people that you can go out with and just have a good time. This makes you care A LOT LESS about what women think of you, which ones don’t return your phone calls, etc.

The worst thing anybody can do is sit in the house alone. To get good at the game, you have to talk to people everywhere, and you have to enjoy doing it. If you are an introverted person, you need to literally reprogram yourself. Do that by putting yourself in an environment where you are continually challenging yourself to be an interesting conversationalist.

Start making more of an effort to hang out with new people. If you meet someone, exchange contact info with them and say that you should hang out. Make it nonchalant and not a big deal.


Rule #5

YOU CANNOT CARE WHAT WOMEN THINK OF YOU

This is a very important rule, because the only way you will get anywhere with women is if you don’t care about the results. Become outcome independent. If things don’t happen with a particular women, it’s OK, cause atleast you got some of your buddies to hang out with at the bar, and surely there will be more women there that you can impress with your incredible personality.

If you need to be reminded, the easiest way to accomplish this feeling of outcome-independence is twofold. The ideal situation is to be able to pick up women anywhere, and to have other women that you are already hooking up with.

If you aren’t there yet, then have many different friends that you can hang out with and meet new people through. These two things take your mind off of “that one girl” an incredible amount.

Rule #6

NEVER REACT EMOTIONALLY TO ANYTHING THAT ANYONE TOSSES AT YOU

I can pick an insecure person out of a line of people, out of a bar, or any social situation. It’s really not that hard. Wanna know my secret?

The first dead giveaway is if they look uncomfortable where they are. But secondly, and more importantly, if they are PISSED OFF at anyone or anything, then they are IMMEDIATELY low status in my book.

High status people don’t react emotionally to problems, cause problems are actually opportunities, remember?

High status people don’t get irritated when clueless, idiotic, insecure morons take shots at their character by saying things like “You’re an asshole.”

You know why? Because anybody that would say this to anybody else is automatically LOW STATUS themselves, and therefore SOCIALLY INEPT!

Why do you care what opinion a low status person has of you? By definition, their opinion DOESN’T MATTER. It’s USELESS!

Taking a comment like “you’re an asshole” to heart from a low status person is giving them WAY too much credit for actually being able to correctly assess your behavior. And in reality, these people are scared and clueless themselves. They might have thought you were insulting them, so they felt that they needed to “get back at you” (ANOTHER low status behavior btw) by insulting you.

You know what I do to retarded things like this? Shrug and maybe laugh condescendingly. Cause they don’t deserve me to *actually* re-consider how I present myself to people. That would be giving them WAY too much credit.

Guys, this comes down to credibility. Would you take a homeless man’s opinion on how to become rich? Even if he has a way with words? I mean c’mon, the guy is fucking HOMELESS.

So WHY IN GOD’S NAME are you gonna get all worked up about what some IDIOT thinks about you?

WHY IN GOD’S NAME ARE YOU GONNA GET PISSED OFF AND BITCHY if a girl snubs your approach?

If she snubs you, you could either laugh condescendingly at her, or just politely say “nice meeting you” (I usually do this).

It is literally HER LOSS GUYS. I can’t emphasize this enough. Re-read that again. It is HER LOSS.

If you don’t believe that yet, then you have a lot of work to do. Even if you don’t believe it, that is the attitude you need to go into an approach with. You are a cool guy, and you want to fuck that girl, but you could literally take it or leave it, cause you KNOW you’re the bomb and tons of other quality women will want you anyways.

You cannot react emotionally AT ALL, to ANYTHING a woman says or does! Doing so demonstrates that you actually CARE what she thinks of you….or in other words, your reality is NOT strong.

Your reality is in fact so weak that it can be shaken by what some random women thinks upon meeting you in the first 3 seconds.

Think about that. Is your reality that weak that it can be shattered by someone you DON’T EVEN KNOW? If this is the case, stop it now!

Don’t fucking do it guys. I fucked my progress up HARDCORE for a LONG time because I cared about opinions from idiots.

Opinions from people can be helpful, but ONLY from high status people. It takes a while to be able to figure out who these people are and if you should consider their advice or not.


Rule #7

ELIMINATE ALL SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT THAT YOU HAVE

You don’t DESERVE the hottest chicks, you gotta EARN them.

Stop getting pissed off at the huge dumb buff guys that have the hotties. Turn it into an opportunity or a learning experience. Ask yourself “what does this guy provide to her that she finds attractive?”

Maybe his muscles make her feel secure. Maybe she likes being dominated in bed. How can you use this knowledge to modify your approach to specifically target HER NEEDS?

I used to feel like I was entitled to getting the hottest girls in the world, but in reality, I wasn’t. Sadly, even if I could have gotten them (like if I had 3 wishes from a genie or something), then I still wouldn’t have been able to keep them because my reality was so weak.

Eventually they would have discovered this and left me.

All you are doing when you feel like you deserve something is mindfucking yourself into a situation where what you can ACTUALLY attain and what you THINK you should attain don’t match up.

Maybe you can regularly get 5’s but you think you deserve 10’s. As a result, you will NEVER be satisfied with your results.

Avoid this trap. Have very little expectation of yourself. Your only expectation is that you should be gradually IMPROVING over time. That is the only finite goal that you should have.

Rule #8


LOWER YOUR STANDARDS

If you are reading this post, then it’s probably because you AREN’T fucking a lot of women, you DON’T have a strong reality, and you are NOT satisfied with where you are in life.

Don’t fret, and surely don’t get pissed off about it. This is an opportunity for you, remember?

Lowering your standards is a very important rule. Why?

Because our own level of confidence, no matter how much we like to convince ourselves otherwise, IS BASED ON OUR SUCCESS LEVEL.

Do you think I would have ever written this post if I hadn’t hooked up with 9 girls in the past month and a half? Probably not. Why? Cause my reality probably wouldn’t have been strong enough to convince myself that I am knowledgeable enough to actually HELP other people by giving my advice to them.

Success with women is no different than anything else. When you first enter the batting cages, you start at the slow pitch machine until you can consistently hit the ball and until you are no longer worried about getting hit by the ball.

Then you slowly work your way up in the levels.

Likewise, if you are not hooking up with chicks consistently because you are holding off for more “quality” girls, then you are actually fucking over your confidence level.

Confidence is built by repeated success and belief that what you are doing is working. But in PU, the only way that you know what you are doing is working is if you HAVE SUCCESS! I’m talking atleast a makeout.

You can’t walk away from a girl that you didn’t atleast kiss and say something stupid like “she was attracted.” Cause you don’t actually KNOW that for a fact. So stop coming to bullshit conclusions.

The purpose of lowering your standards is that it is the greatest confidence booster that I know of. It is what turned me into the sex machine that I am in the past few months.


Rule #9

STOP COMING TO BULLSHIT CONCLUSIONS

Avoid the temptation to conclude things when you don’t have enough evidence to do so. Avoid re-tooling your game when you get ONE bad reaction from a girl. Don’t convince yourself that cocky & funny doesn’t work cause 7 girls at a bar didn’t like you because of it.

These things WORK people. I know, I’ve done all of it. Your APPLICATION of it is what is not working. Don’t waste your time coming to bullshit conclusions about anything.

Find a guy that you like and model your style after his. Either in real life or off this website. For beginner’s, maniac’s no nonsense guide is GREAT for fundamentals.

Point is, find a style that is congruent with your personality and go with it. And FORGET about results for a LONG time.

Before you can really conclude anything about your abilities, you need a large sample size. Think about it. Does a scientist do ONE experiment and then write a theory? Nope. So why do the KJ’s do this?

Cause they are hopelessly lost. Get out in the field and forget about the results. And when the results don’t come, DON’T change your game unless you have compelling evidence to do so. Follow a method until it works for you.

I’m gonna say it again cause it’s important. Stop reading about all different types of styles until you are regularly getting consistently laid by women.

One more piece of advice, consider CREDIBILITY when you are clueless on a topic. If you are reading all different posts on mASF, then you will surely get lost. What I do instead is only read posts by posters that I KNOW know what they are talking about.

Recognize that it is impossible to figure out who is credible and who isn’t unless you know something about the topic. Take a piece of advice from me, here are some of the best posters on this website off the top of my head:

Razorjack, Zarathustra_fi, TylerDurden, Dimitri, Woodhaven, PlayerSupreme, Sandworm, Ijjji, Jlaix, Juggler, TokyoPUA, Neo-Rio.

There are many more as well. But why would you read anything that is from someone whose credibility is questionable? If you’re doing it, cut it out. Read the archives first.

YOUR HOMEWORK

Re-read this guide as many times as you need to and implement all of these things into your life until they are a part of who you are.

Hopefully this was atleast a little bit motivational. It won’t be an easy journey, but your life is going to be incredible when it happens.

I’m 22 years old, and woman are literally NO obstacle to me whatsoever anymore. I’ve never taken a workshop and never met anybody from this website.

It can happen for you. Just think about practical ways that you can develop the above rules into becoming a part of your personality.

This is the "method" or "how-to" that I think many people are looking for. While this guide doesn't necessarily provide this for you, it does point out what you need to do and what you need to avoid, and until you can do that, you have no business even reading a "how-to" guide.

Also, the "how-to" is pretty arbitrary. There are many different ways to work on these things that I am talking about. If you really have no idea, then ask and maybe I can come up with something.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

IT'S OVER!

I am going to improve my life in every single point possible, and if this means sarging 4 days a week 4 hours a night for 2 years THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I'M GOING TO DO. I WILL GET HER BACK.

FUCK THIS. MY LIFE FUCKING SUCKS. I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS SHIT. I'M READY FOR THIS SHIT. OUT.

FR de Alessandro aka MR. Testicules aka LE ONS MASTAH PLAYA

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topic: FR++: Joy of Gaming. (1 of 15)
board: Field Reports
from: Alessandro / profile / recent posts by Alessandro
(first login: November, 30, 2001 05:27 PM)
date: Thursday, January 12, 2006 12:20 PM
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I fucking love bars. I love the sleazy drunk bitches that guys HAUNT
throughout the night. I like the dynamics, the cheap transparent
attempts at putting down other guys. I FUCKING LOVE winning bitches;
it's not about her, it's about me being better than every other drunk in
the house.

Last night I did so many sets, I was fucking high on my own achievement.
There was a point in time when I saw my perfect image in the glowing
dark reflection of my Black Russian, just when all the ice melted. It
was love at first sight; I thought what I saw was the most beautiful
thing ever. A Pimp Named Slick Back, you say the whole thing, like Tribe
Called Quest!

Where do I begin, where do I begin? So I ditched the girlfriend and told
her to stay home. It's fun loving you hun, but sometimes I gotta do what
I do best, crash and burning. I was also supposed to meet up with some
ASFer dude, fuck him, I SMSed him and I don't think his land-line does
texting.

I hit the bar and kick the shit with the bartender. I am celebrating
three years of frequenting this same bar, and pulling nearly ten chicks
from the middle floor alone.

While I am drinking, this HOTTIE comes to talk to the bartender, I steal
her from him:

Me: Hi :-)
Me: this might be a little offensive (just to get her attention)
Me: but I wanna play a game with you
Me: I am gonna tell you name of a person
Me: and you say "Yes" if you look like her, or "No" if you don't

Her: Ok :-)

Me: a younger, but more naive Jennifer Aniston

Her: I can go for that, yeah!

Me: wow, you didn't like that, should I have said Gweneth Paltrow?

Her: no, I like Jennifer better

Me: fuck Hollywood, wouldn't you say Broadway is better


BOOM! Attraction is on. She turns around to face me fully. I go on for
more attraction and some rapport:

Me: it's hard to judge by looks alone
Me: tell me three things about you that are not considered cool or great
Me: a flaw, a weakness, a phobia, a guilty pleasure

GAME GAME GAME. This girl was nearly bagged. She consciously stops
herself "OMG, I didn't even come to have a conversation, but time just
flies, I never thought I would open up to someone like this" ... awkward
moment, she leans in to kiss me, I take her arm and twirl her around (I
am still sitting) I slap her ass, give her a hug and tell her "we can't
kiss yet, we're still in friendship mode" I was afraid she might kiss me
and never return, like happened so many times after quick sparks of
attraction.

BAD MOVE! That girl was quickly taken by some genuinely good guy. Man, I
love her tastes in men, he was the only decent Good Guy, she really
didn't go for a player I could cockblock later. I went to her set and
she introduced me to him. Funny how she hugs me but stands at a distance
from him. But she likes him more, and I can tell. I leave them alone
because they looked so cute together, and I would've been a dick if I
attempted to cockblock a really good guy (he was warm toward me and he
looked cultured; OOPS! I am DDB for a dude!)

So I crack my fingers and get myself back into action. What follows was
a night of SUPERIOR GAME. I opened about twenty bitches, and every last
fucking one of them opened perfect and I got tons of attraction.

First girl; Chubby goth chick who turns out to be gay:

Me: hey, I dig your style, the only person with a taste in here

Her: *flattered*

Me: I myself am going for the Miami Vice look

Me: which one is better this .. or this (fashion advice)

Me: can you tell allot about the person just by the way they dress?


For a moment there her attraction sparks and she wants to have this
conversation, but she says something something and it starts to click in
my head that the "goth" chick is a actually a butch lesbian and her
table of girlfriends is having a private night :-P NEXT!

I see Spanish guys haunting two easy white bitches. One of the bitches
is having her 23rd birthday. The guys are committing PU crimes left and
right; leaning in, giving her a massage, buying her flowers, etc. I go
up to them and over hear her saying shit like "I am a country girl, I
grew up with horses, I still carry with me my southern hospitality and
loyalty to friendship" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, HOLLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT.
This is AWESOME. I listen some more and one of the spanish guys is
saying "yeah, I have been to south carolina, great friendly people" ..
HAHA, I was like no shit, you fucktards. I turn around to them and like
a fucking megaphone on ant colony, start yelling at them:

Me: HAHAHAHAHA

Me: hey small town-girl, watch your ass around here

Me: we don't value hospitality here, HAHA

Me: I shouldn't be even talking to you, you don't have what it takes

Me: You don't have that UMPFFFF, the pizazz, the spark that girls have

Me: you're too submissive and friendly, I would walk all over you

Me: and you can't stop me :-D


Oh shit did she bite, BOY did she bite! She shoved and pushed her way
through five guys and came after me. It was the most satisfying session
of "putting the bitch in her place" I have ever had. I ask "what can you
do different than all girls to impress me?" she says "I would slap you",
so I go first and slap her in the face, she hits me back and punches me.
ALL spanish guys are like WTF? her girlfriend was like OH SHIT! This
girl was wearing a short skirt, knee high furry boots (the newer ones)
and had thick thighs just made for ridding.

Her girlfriend comes up to me and wants to start shit, AFTER I made
friends with the birthday girl She wants to go through the same process.
But the friend is hostile and not flirting, she is the drag away girl.
She makes fun of my clothes, which she can't fucking touch, because I
was looking so fly and so money anyway. So I tell her to fuck off
because I didn't like her. I told her "I don't wanna slap you cuz you
might be pregnant", she was a chubby chick and her confidence just
fucking sinks. I am bad ^_^

While I was swimming in self congratulation, I look behind them and
there are two white guys by themselves, holding coats and flowers. OW
SHIT! their boyfriends HAHAHAHA.

I see a girl with four guys. No kidding. Four wannabe rocker guys, all
in black t-shirts, messy hair, studded belts and arm bands, the works.

Me: hey, this girl is working four guys

Me: you're a pimp man

Me: high five

Me: so do you slap these hoes? how do you put them in their place?

Me: my grama was a total pimp, she would get anger fits and go karate on
guys

Me: this girl is gonna be AWESOME when she gets old

Me: like the best gramma EVER!

Me: [taking her hand] show me your knuckles ..


Yet another awesome set with passive submissive guys. ONLY if I stopped
being such a narcissist and actually tried to pull bitches.

I spot a guy on a date with a girl:

Me: WOW, you guys have the best chemistry anywhere

Me: I can feel the electric charges

Me: did you guys meet on Craigslist?


They laugh

Me: oh wait, I bet you met on eHarmony.com

Me: did you answer the sixty "Compatibility Questions"?

Me: I was drinking at home one day and decided to go on eHarmony

Me: I took some pictures of me doing Arnold moves [flex muscle]


They were in fucking stitches. Making people laugh is such a great
feeling. I was like "you guys are awesome, I better go bother someone else."


I see a mixed set, three guys, two girls, one of the girls disinterested:

Me: hey guys, ever feel like a million bucks?

Me: WOOHOOO, tonight I feel like FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS!


More DDB from people, damn I am on a roll.


Me: [pointing at disinterested girl]

Me: hey, watch out for her!

Me: ever watch the discovery channel?

Me: she is the curious buffalo that gets eaten every time

Me: ever see that?

Me: there is one buffalo who feels like letting his free spirit roam

Me: you see him running to the hills, smelling flowers and chasing
butterflies

Me: before you know it, BAM!


More laughter.

More people pass-by and I go completely nuts:

Me: [yelling] I WANNA DO SPEED DATING!

Me: You, what's your sign, NEXT, you there, what's your name, NEXT

Me: and you, and you and you and you

Me: speed dating meets ADD, what can I say, high speed romance!

Me: I can make love to you all night long, hey look, PIZZA!


Man, I reached a level of game high so fucking acute even I had to break
under its pressure. It's that level between god and titan, so powerful
yet so radical. Bad and Good meet and mesh together to make me one loud,
annoying, AWESOME entity. Material just pumps itself from the great
never ending keg of material. Game spews itself from the game-jar; it
literally jumps out on its own, forms a line on the table, does a little
line dance like the M&M characters, then it explodes in the face of
everyone around like little grenades of shit. Whipe your face honey, I
am doing mixed sets tonight.

WOOOOHOOOOOOOOO, can't wait to do it all over again.

As always, fuck the man, fuck the system, fuck the weak, fuck the normal
and power to the people. Later Merry Fucking Chirstmas to my rastafari
brothers; jah loves you and you are his child, in his image and desciple
of the great Selassie the mesiah. Peace out to all my niggaz; rp_5150,
goose_, ultra_k00k_4u, ankh-fo-shi-zle, jlaix, PlayerSupreme, my nigga
Mike Coolie (Light up a fat one for this one) THUG LIFE!

Continue C&F while in rapport? (RSD, Jlaix)

QUESTION ***

hey, i'm a recent rsd alum and i have a question about the emotional connection. Well, first off let me say that i really have learned alot from you guys already. I've been getting a lot better at opening sets and moving into deep and wide rapport. But i think i've been slipping on the connection part.

I know that all this stuff can happen at the same time, but when you move a little further along i mean you've been talking for a while and things are going on and your into the deep and wide rapport, is it good to keep on teasing a women. Busting her balls while your trying for the connection.

Any advice about what kinds of things, guidelines or rules of thumbs would be awesome.

-B

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Okay, I like this. This is a somewhat advanced question, so I'll break it down in very simple, easy-to-understand terminology.

First of all, congratulations on the progress. The fact that you're consistently getting past the approach and attraction phases of the pickup says a lot. It says you've kept up your skills after the bootcamp, and you should give yourself a pat on the back right now for that.

All right, enough wanking. Let's address the question.

There's a couple things you want to keep in mind when you're into the rapport phase of an interaction.

First of all, should you keep teasing her or not?

Frequently, I'll be talking to a girl, and she gives me the necessary indicators of interest, i.e. asking me personal questions, touching me, etc., and I'll move her into isolation.

Then I'll start slowing things down, getting more personal, and dropping a lot of the wacky, over-the-top fun attraction stuff.

So it's going well, and all of a sudden, BOOM, she starts in on me again with some kind of tease.

Now, when you're in the attraction phase, the correct response is, of course, to bust her right back in a funny way that shows you're in control of yourself and you're a money, witty guy. In fact, if you DON'T respond in this manner, it's likely you'll get blown out of the group.

However, once you're in the rapport phase, if you respond in this way, you're essentially going backwards in the pickup on her schedule.

When you do this, what you're essentially doing is QUALIFYING YOURSELF. In other words, you're showing her that you're coming from a place of lower value, because you're capitulating to her frame in order to placate her.

Make sense?

So, what's the correct way to respond when the girl tests or teases you during the connection phase?

Well, I'm glad you asked. It's quite simple actually. What I'll do is act like I'm sad she busted on me. I'll make a sad face, and say something along the lines of, "Don't be mean to me...
I thought we were past all that ball-busting stuff. Can we play nice? I will if you do..." and then I'll stick out my pinky for her to "pinky swear" on it.

This is the perfect way to keep the frame and maintain the trust and comfort levels you've worked so hard to build. Don't blow it by going BACKWARDS for no reason!

Now, there is one other thing to keep in mind here, and it goes back to something else that you said.

You know that the structure of a pickup isn't strictly linear, and in fact the different phases do have a tendency to sort of "meld together," like a recipe. Add some rapport, sprinkle some attraction, etc.

What that means is that you want to monitor the level of attraction at all times, even when in the rapport phase.

Because what's going to happen once you make the transition is, you'll notice the energy dies down somewhat.

If you let it die down TOO much, she'll lose interest entirely and it's quite possible that you'll lose the girl.

So, what you want to do is occassionally SPRINKLE in little bits of attraction material, i.e. the teases and so forth, whenever you sense that the energy level is getting too low.

This is a concept known as "fractionation," and just like anything in this game, it takes a little bit of practice until you can calibrate it just right. And, of course, every interaction is different, so that must be taken into account as well.

Play around with it, though, and I think you'll be pleased with the results.


--
TROP FUCKING NICE! C'est exactement ce que je recherchais! PURE GOLD.

This is how you pick up a girl.

Les fans de Star Trek poursuivent les producteurs du film 40 Year Old Virgin !

Cesare Cardinali:

http://datelinehollywood.com/archives/2005/08/15/real-40-year-old-vi
rgins-say-40-year-old-virgin-movie-make-them-uncomfortable/
REAL 40 YEAR OLD VIRGINS SAY '40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN' MOVIE MAKES THEM UNCOMFORTABLE Sexually-frustrated Star Trek and Star Wars fans sue Universal, ask for restraining order

Hollywood - The new movie "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" will hit theaters next week, but across America, real 40-year-old virgins say promotions for the upcoming movie make them very uncomfortable as friends and family members make comparisons to the film and remind them of the fact they've ne.ver gotten laid. The virgins have filed a class action lawsuit against Universal Pictures seeking unspecified damages for emotional distress.

Stuart Brownfield is a 40-year-old virgin in Nashua, New Hampshire who filed the original lawsuit. He is hoping that the movie will bomb at the box office. "I work in an office (Office Depot) and someone saw the ad for the movie in the paper," said Brownfield.
"Then, this one guy I can't stand in shipping turns to me and says, 'Hey Stuart, this movie sounds like it's right up your alley.'
Everyone started laughing. I was so devastated I couldn't even watch the new episode of 'Battlestar Galactica' that night."

Actor Steve Carell plays 40-year-old virgin Andy Stitzer in the movie. Andy's ne.ver had sex. His friends consider it their duty to help, but nothing proves effective enough until he meets Trish (Catherine Keener), a 40-year-old mother of three.

"People who have seen the trailer for the movie are n(ow calling me 'Andy,'" said an emotional Brownfield. "People at the office kn(ow that I've ne.ver gotten laid, but no one really said anything until these movie trailers and posters started appearing. My life has been a nightmare. I haven't felt this bad since 'Episode I.'"

"It's not easy being a virgin, and I really feel for these guys,"
said 42-year-old Stan Jennings of Cranston, Rhode Island. Jennings, who works at Industrial Soap Inc., finally lost his virginity last year while having sex with a prostitute who ended up giving him gonorrhea. "I am not a virgin anymore, and it feels great, although I do have some burning. However, being a former virgin, I empathize with those losers, and I think the movie should be stopped."

Star Trek and Star Wars fans who have been feuding for decades have finally found a common cause in the lawsuit.

"We don't think it's funny to make fun of virgins, and we will use all of our powers to stop this film," said 40year old Larry Nohan, the president of the Star Trek Milwaukee Federation. "This movie is a blatant attempt to humiliate us. Why can't people just leave us alone with our Uhura porn and stop judging us?"

Lou Peters, a 39-year-old virgin and Star Wars fan from San Diego who lives with his parents, considers himself lucky.

"I'm so glad I'm still 39," said Peters who wears a Stormtrooper costume on weekends while playing the "Star Wars: Episode III:
Revenge of the Sith" videogame online. "One year old older and I would be the laughing stock of my neighborhood."