Saturday, January 14, 2006

Continue C&F while in rapport? (RSD, Jlaix)


hey, i'm a recent rsd alum and i have a question about the emotional connection. Well, first off let me say that i really have learned alot from you guys already. I've been getting a lot better at opening sets and moving into deep and wide rapport. But i think i've been slipping on the connection part.

I know that all this stuff can happen at the same time, but when you move a little further along i mean you've been talking for a while and things are going on and your into the deep and wide rapport, is it good to keep on teasing a women. Busting her balls while your trying for the connection.

Any advice about what kinds of things, guidelines or rules of thumbs would be awesome.


>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Okay, I like this. This is a somewhat advanced question, so I'll break it down in very simple, easy-to-understand terminology.

First of all, congratulations on the progress. The fact that you're consistently getting past the approach and attraction phases of the pickup says a lot. It says you've kept up your skills after the bootcamp, and you should give yourself a pat on the back right now for that.

All right, enough wanking. Let's address the question.

There's a couple things you want to keep in mind when you're into the rapport phase of an interaction.

First of all, should you keep teasing her or not?

Frequently, I'll be talking to a girl, and she gives me the necessary indicators of interest, i.e. asking me personal questions, touching me, etc., and I'll move her into isolation.

Then I'll start slowing things down, getting more personal, and dropping a lot of the wacky, over-the-top fun attraction stuff.

So it's going well, and all of a sudden, BOOM, she starts in on me again with some kind of tease.

Now, when you're in the attraction phase, the correct response is, of course, to bust her right back in a funny way that shows you're in control of yourself and you're a money, witty guy. In fact, if you DON'T respond in this manner, it's likely you'll get blown out of the group.

However, once you're in the rapport phase, if you respond in this way, you're essentially going backwards in the pickup on her schedule.

When you do this, what you're essentially doing is QUALIFYING YOURSELF. In other words, you're showing her that you're coming from a place of lower value, because you're capitulating to her frame in order to placate her.

Make sense?

So, what's the correct way to respond when the girl tests or teases you during the connection phase?

Well, I'm glad you asked. It's quite simple actually. What I'll do is act like I'm sad she busted on me. I'll make a sad face, and say something along the lines of, "Don't be mean to me...
I thought we were past all that ball-busting stuff. Can we play nice? I will if you do..." and then I'll stick out my pinky for her to "pinky swear" on it.

This is the perfect way to keep the frame and maintain the trust and comfort levels you've worked so hard to build. Don't blow it by going BACKWARDS for no reason!

Now, there is one other thing to keep in mind here, and it goes back to something else that you said.

You know that the structure of a pickup isn't strictly linear, and in fact the different phases do have a tendency to sort of "meld together," like a recipe. Add some rapport, sprinkle some attraction, etc.

What that means is that you want to monitor the level of attraction at all times, even when in the rapport phase.

Because what's going to happen once you make the transition is, you'll notice the energy dies down somewhat.

If you let it die down TOO much, she'll lose interest entirely and it's quite possible that you'll lose the girl.

So, what you want to do is occassionally SPRINKLE in little bits of attraction material, i.e. the teases and so forth, whenever you sense that the energy level is getting too low.

This is a concept known as "fractionation," and just like anything in this game, it takes a little bit of practice until you can calibrate it just right. And, of course, every interaction is different, so that must be taken into account as well.

Play around with it, though, and I think you'll be pleased with the results.

TROP FUCKING NICE! C'est exactement ce que je recherchais! PURE GOLD.


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